Saturday, 17 November 2012

The fashion and beauty blogger

Are you a fashion and beauty blogger? 
Quick signs to look for
1) You think Beautiful Butterfly Wings is a beautiful name for a blog
2) When writing your blog, you end a majority of your sentences in an exclamation mark
3) Meeting two friends for a quick drink in the pub becomes a four hour blog involving three dress changes, sixty five photos, and a blog post casually entitled 'going out for cocktails with the besties'
4) Your blog is written in an unnecessarily small font
5) You now can't stop putting your hand behind your ear/on your hip/in an unnatural place when having your picture taken

The typical fashion and beauty blogger in depth
Who'd of thought, spotty, shy and spiritless plain old Lisa would transform herself by writing a 500+ followed blog called Lisa Loves Lemon Drops? LLLD, as she likes people to call it, has nothing to do with the Liberal Democrats, but everything to do with throwaway fashion and cheap cosmetics. Complete with numerous photos of her sprawled on her bed writing to her laptop Carrie Bradshaw style, Lisa is about to publish her favourite blog post - Products I've Used And Empties. Nevermind that thousands of women get through a pack of Boots facial wipes or chuck a can of Sure in the bin every day, Lisa delights in telling the cyber world exactly which toiletries she has been using this November (cue artfully arranged patterns of manky old make up products). Did you know that Rimmel do cheap concealer or Aussie sell conditioner? Well, don't fret, Lisa has just announced this revelation in her latest blog - Beauty Products I Cannot Live Without. What she can live without however is excruciating neck pain, the result of hundreds of photos of moody poses looking downwards whilst modelling the latest find from H&M ('it was such a bargain, reduced from £26 to £24; I just had to have it!).       

Lisa also just has to end every week with her Week In Photos (though this won't include photos of her watching Emmerdale or looking worried thinking I've not actually done much this week). Instagram styled, every photo has the I'm Just So Popular But Also Quirky hue added to it, making that meal out at Harvester seem retro, or that night in watching X Factor cool. Despite this modest lifestyle, every blog post reliably begins 'it feels like ages since my last post, but I've just been sooo busy' (even if her last blog post was only two days ago). Indeed the one degree temperature drop since Lisa's last offerings has prompted a My Winter Hair Care Regime guide where we learn she switches from Pantene Smooth and Sleek to Pantene Winter Rescue at the first sign of frost (cue even the loyalest of her followers to question her independence; didn't Pantene do a bloggers event recently)? But even though Lisa will be unnervingly open about what shampoo she uses or where she buys her underwear, what she won't disclose is that she suffers from chronic eczema and used to cut herself.  

How to stop being a fashion and beauty blogger
Worried this is you? Here's how to stop being a fashion and beauty blogger 
1) Stop hoarding empty toiletries like they're antiques, just put them straight in the bin, not via your blog
2) The only people who care about what cosmetics you buy are the people who send you your Boots Advantage card vouchers, stop blogging about it!
3) Every day is not a fashion show. Just be pleased you can afford clothes and go out there and do something worthwhile (not just fashion blogging)!


  1. What do you mean no one cares what products I've used up this month?!!!! x

  2. Well don't worry Lisa Loves Lemon Drops does! X